"Did I kill the old hag? No, not the old hag--I killed myself!"

I read Fyodor Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment almost 7 years ago, and yet I still clearly remember the driving plot of the story. It's not because the plot was particularly groundbreaking or contained any hidden twists at the end - it's because Dostoyevsky did such a masterful job of capturing Raskolnikov's raw emotions as he battled with his guilt.

If you haven't read the book, you can always wiki the summary, but the main conflict in the story is really between the protagonist and himself. Dostoyevsky intended the character of Raskolnikov to represent the dangers of Russian nihilism, particularly its ambition to entrust society into the hands of elite intellectuals. Raskolnikov fancies himself as such an intellectual, and thinks that killing someone for their money would be justified by a sort of Darwinian 'the weak feed the strong' ideal.

Of course, once the deed is done, he quickly begins to lose his sanity as he struggles with the guilty part of his conscience that wants to confess to the crime. The poignant irony of the book is that this internal struggle is more the 'punishment' than Raskolnikov's eventual formal punishment (which actually acts as his redemption - spoiler alert!).

There were so many things I liked about this book - it was the first novel that I truly appreciated for its philosophical value (no, Shakespeare never really did it for me :p). Dostoyevsky's Devils (or The Possessed) is a pretty good read as well, but deals more with political issues, and isn't quite as captivating. Of course, I'd recommend giving Crime and Punishment a read, just try and find one of the more accessible translations. I think I'll finally reread it over Christmas - something to do on the 14 hour flight to the Phillippines :D

“Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others” - Fyodor Dostoyevsky